When everyone is gone

all you need is yourself you've had that in you forever all you need is yourself and one or two good shows to carry you through

Years later. Like a lot

“We will always have your back” Never meant what I thought When the rubber met the road You were gone You are gone The lot of you

we are so weak

wherever you turn you can see failure.
we fall so short of glory.
we come so far from what we are supposed to be.

i'm sitting in the hospital hallway.
2nd time i've been here and it isn't much different that the first.
other than a room change and some severe weight loss.
its nice and clean
and everyone smiles.

but beneath it all is this sobering-ness
if i can use that word.
that realization that people all around are sick.
some don't have anyone visiting.

then you have children walking around the hallways.
and they bring this bright ray of light in.
its an interesting dichotomy.

and the people that visit bring joy, laughter, and hope.
and you can can see the difference.

i just hope we can shine Christ throughout this place.

.iloveyouSteph.

-Lnk-

wine

so i found a bottle on wine in the fridge and felt like being risky.
so i took a sip
and it was delicious.

i drank some.
and loved it.
especially with hummus.

i love sleep and work has been sapping me of myself lately.
i don't know what to make of 9-5 jobs.
i can't see how someone would have one and still have a personality.
it's sad.

imagine how cool we'd all be if we didn't have to give so much to our jobs.

.lethargic.

-Lnk-

amazing

up in VA at Lynchburg General hanging out with my boi Gonzo.
he was diagnosed with cancer and it spread to his lungs and brain.
his whole family is here including a copious amount of friends and visitors.

its simply amazing to see God's people come together to help.
it's also crazy how this situation worked out.
if things were any different most of us wouldn't be able to be up here to be with him.
God is so great.

the people at the hospital have been great
and the hospital itself is purty snazzy.
very nice facilities and everything here is chill.
my sis, steph and i are staying at Gonzo's apartment
which is mad nice.
the price to lease their apartment down in FL
would be ridiculous.

i'm so happy to be able to be here and be here
for my best friend who has been there for me in the past.
i'm very very tired so the rest should be read with that in mind.

since being here alot of people have contacted Gonzo.
some people have been lamerz in his past
in our past.
that word "our" encompasses a large group of people.
and now they come back.
now i'm all for people offering prayers
and i'm not going to take away the joy of giving from anyone.
but seriously?

you were gone for +5 years
and now.
i don't know how i feel about that.
i don't know how i feel about how you water it down
and cheapen it
and play vulgar songs behind your videos.

where'd you come from
and where are you going?

you hurt a lot of people.
you should apologize before you start praying.
i'm just saying

.tootiredtoshowemotion.

-Lnk-

so yeah, long time

i'm in class AGAIN.
someone mentioned blogging and i realized i've been slacking
but no one reads this so no worries.

things are going great at Weston
and i'm excited about the future and what God has in store for us.
i'll be blogging on the future "Context" page
so i have to get in the routine of doing this again.

i'm tired lately.
and my sleeping patterns have been completely out of whack
i can't concentrate for the life of me.
i just want to sleep.

lead worship at Weston this past weekend.
i thought it was mediocre.
but apparently a lot of people liked it.
i talked to Tommy about this
but the speed i want to take the transition in Weston
is definitely not the speed at which is going.

but at least we aren't playing Usher songs on stage
*cough* *cough*

but i'm going to force myself to look up at the teacher
so they feel that i'm paying attention.

.ihavetopee.

-Lnk-
u

just disappointed

i'm so weirded out right now.
facebook is cool but makes me so mad.
correction,
the people on facebook make me mad.
say one thing and have pictures of another.

stop you idiots.

.nonewfriends.


-Lnk-

camp over

it was amazing.
prayer was answered so quickly.
God was so evident
and His children lifted His name at the top of their lungs.
getting back to the real world so quickly is disheartning.

i'm tired.
and miss it.
perspective is so much clearer there.

i need God.

.longdriveheavyeyes.

-Lnk-

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

under the canopy

i'm sitting underneath the most beautiful display i've seen in awhile.
in a dark field
away from light
i can see each star twinkle.
each light spark off and on.

a shooting star flies over my left.

i see a street light behind me
and see how we once again blot out
God's glory.
we ignorantly retard it
thinking that this well help.
that our efforts will bring us closer.

our efforts are useless.
we cannot draw close to a God whose "street light" is the sun.

we cannot fathom His wisdom
we cannot understand His ways.
we have only to humbly ask for Him to draw us close.

He brings us
He calls us
He began the rescue
And He will finish the war.

we can only ask to be His children
and for Him to show us a measure of grace
and allows us to be His.

awaken our souls.
still our minds.
may the nature that proclaims Your glory
always bring us to a halt.

.You'rebeautiful.

-Lnk-

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

camp 2010

at camp 2010
easiest setup ever.
really nice camp as well.
the facilities are pristine
and my rooming situation is beautiful.

been using twitter like a beast
but i've gotten to know some peeps
much better.
and i'm thankful for it.

just finished our first worship set and i know this is going to be heavy.
there is so unknown weight to worship.
i don't know how to correctly categorize it
but i can identify when it's here.

and it's here now.
it's our burden
to have the ability to lead
people in worship
while we are still sinners.
such rotten rotten people.

God have mercy on us.


.Christinus.

-Lnk-

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

and this is where it gets grey

friends leave,
bands separate,
music stops,
waves lap up to shore.

i don't know what to do.

i'm an easy target now
and just need to go away
for a long time.

i just want to be at work.
it's simple there.

i'm hurting
below the throat
in between the ribs and lungs.

the office still helps.

hopefully sleep will render this all a dream.

who would we be if we believed in "Ask and ye shall receive."

how would it change if we all believed the same "Christ came to save sinners of whom I am chief."

.poorattemptatrhyming.

-Lnk-

not everytime

thank you Lord for a good day.
it had some horrible trudging times
but all in all
i can rest my head feeling good.

i don't know what to do sometimes.
it feels that no matter how much of an effort i make
things just don't click.
i line up the pieces
and people don't move into place.

i can only imagine how frustrated and angry you get at us.
we are always messing things up
and doing it however we see fit.

help me see things/people through your eyes.
give me wisdom
and peace.

and let everyone know that i love them.
cause i do.

.especiallyyou.

-Lnk-

a new one

got a new car
and i love it.
it was all God
cause i wasn't looking for this car at all.

can't wait to break it in.

.nonameyet.

-Lnk-

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

sometimes i wonder

why me?
why now?

why not somewhere else?

i do get envious every so often.
but i'm here for a reason.
i may not know it now
but who am i to know everything.

"Were you the first person ever born? Were you born before the hills were made?"
Job 15:7

.strong.

-Lnk-

what to do

i don't know what to do now.
someone is mad and i don't know how to facilitate a solution.
i want to be here again.

maybe let it rest?

.egosandpride.

-Lnk-

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

lake house

well we are here and i've already had
more fun then i planned for.
riding wave runners into the sunset, tearing up the wake on Bucefillus, coming across the lake with my four bois.
its all too much to take in.

i'm really looking forward to sleeping on the couch.
and then waking up at 7:30 to hit up the lake.

i'm so blessed

.andlifecouldntbesweeter.

-Lnk-

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

things don't always make sense

so this weekend has been great.
and has ended quite differently.
panicked phone calls are never fun to answer.

but i'm glad that things do get figured out
and that no matter how old you are
friends are still a necessity.

.don'tforgetwhoyouarelovedby.


-Lnk-

just might be okay

listen to food and liquor
which now i feel is better than the cool.
my girl is sick
but feeling better now.
i know she can muscle it.

played around with autotune on garageband.
and its too much fun.

its amazing how we are so unaware of our dependence on God
until it all falls.
power fails, signals disappear.
i just don't want to depend on me anymore
its so easy to do that here.

here being the US.

cause i'm not faced with the possibility of dying everyday.
or maybe i am
and just not aware of it.
i may not be gunned down for worshiping God
but i will die from giving my soul to lesser
less than from where it was meant to be.

but now my eyes grow heavy
so i'm calling it.

goodnight universe


.shinsaresore.

-Lnk-

surreal

i'm writing this blog with great sadness.
sherman has died
in the form of me
and a good friend
getting smashed into coming home leaving Weston.

my truck is totaled
my arm and head are sore
and my neck is going to hurt a lot in the morning.

but i'm alive
and God spared everyone involved.
i just wish i had sherman back.

.caraccidentsarewaytofast.

-Lnk-

them's are fighting words

man i want to eat something so so badly.
but i can't.
actually i can
i'm just choosing not to.
trying to get things into shape
and not let my body dictate what i do.

i'm going to sleep soon and i know it will feel great.
love you
and know that you aren't alone.

.sleepytime.

-Lnk-