just read along

this entry is long, just read and enjoy

excerpt from RealLivePreacher.com-

The Three Sisters

"In 1997 I could not read the stars. I recognized no huam track or sign in the night sky. I saw the heavens with the eyes of a child.
Our third daughter was born that winter. We had decided three was our limit, so I was not going to have the son I had dreamed of. Those were strange days because I experienced grief and joy in equal measures. I had a vision of a little boy with a baseball glove who hung his read and turned away from me.
One night I noticed three little stars all in a row. I stopped and stared. "The Three Sisters," I whispered to myself. I had another vision, this time of three women meeting for tea. They stopped their conversation and smiled at me.
In those days I went outside almost every night to look at the The Three Sisters. I began to notice a red star that was always in a different place in the sky. It seemed to move across the constellations, on a journey all its own. I puzzled over this. Something seemed sad about the little star with no home. I began calling it "The Little Lost Boy."
Every night The Little Lost Boy moved closer to the horizon. I hated to see him go, but eventually I had to say goodbye. And so I did.
My stargazing was so innocent in those days -- so childlike and so helpful to me.
Then I bought The Audubon Society's Field Guide to the Night Sky. I pored over it and discovered that what I was calling "The Three Sisters" was really Orion's belt. I also found that "The Little Lost Boy" was mars. The planets do not have a set location in the sky, but seem to move in and out of the constellations. He wasn't lost at all.
The winter constellations became known to me, and I counted them as friends. Orion the strong with Lepus the hare at his feet and red-eyed Taurus over his shoulder. The teacup Pleiades, faithful Canis Major and the watchful Gemini Twins. Capella the she-goat with her three kids. Leo the lion rising in the east to chase them all away.
I wanted to know these things. I wanted to read the human language of the constellations. I gained knowledge, and the knowledge was good.
I also lost something. Had I known the constellations, I never would have seen The Three Sisters and the The Little Lost Boy. I would have never found that gentle path through and beyond my sadness.
The fruit of the tree of knowledge nourishes the soul, but ut has a price. Once you have tasted it, you can never see with the eyes of a child again. Pick up a book and look at the letters. You cannot see them as a child sees them. As soon as you look at the page, the letters will group themselves into words and phrases. They seem to have a life of their own. Once we come to understand these symbols, they are forever imprinted upon us. Our mind is molded by our knowledge.
Here's something fun. Turn the book upside down and look at the letters. It's like becoming a child again.
I cannot turn the sky upside down. The constellations jump into my vision and the planets are not as mysterious now that I know their names. In some ways the stars are closed to me now. I read them better, but they speak to me less.
There are nights when I look at the sky and wish I did now know. I wish I could find the The Little Lost Boy, but he is gone forever, swallowed up by Mars.
I'm intrigued by this finding and losing. I wonder about this trade -off between knowledge and vision, this price we pay to read our world.
Jesus said, "Unless you become like a child, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
I stand in my yard and speak to the sky. "What did you mean by that, Jesus? Why would you ask something so impossible of me?"

excerpt from Lupe Fiasco's Food and Liquor
Now come on everybody, let's make cocaine cool
We need a few more half naked women up in the pool
And hold this MAC-10 that's all covered in jewels
And can you please put your titties closer to the 22s?
And where's the champagne? We need champagne
Now look as hard as you can with this blunt in your hand
And now hold up your chain slow motion through the flames
Now cue the smoke machines and the simulated rain
But not too loud 'cause the baby's sleepin
I wonder if it knows what the world is keepin
Up both sleeves while he lay there dreamin
Me and my robot tip-toe 'round creepin
I had to turn my back on what got you paid
I couldn't see half the hood on me like Abu Ghraib
But I'd like to thank the streets that drove me crazy
And all the televisions out there that raised me, I was

.thanks for reading.

-Lnk-

give me the 5 o clock shadow and the side sweep

yea i'll take just that.

on another note.
i saw an old old friend.
she has one son, one daughter,
one baby daughter and one son in the oven.
her husband was instrumental in getting me through my high school years.

i remember one winter camp during high school,
he and i walked around the springs at the camp.
we were just admiring the scenery and marveling at the size of the trees.

talking accompanied our walk through the springs
and i don't know how we ever got to this
but he opened up and told me something about his and his wife's past.

they had pre-marital sex and she became pregnant.
they were young and he convinced her to get an abortion.
she did

now, so far away from that point.
they are married, and have four of the most beautiful kids ever.
but they quietly celebrate each year on the day,
their child that never was.

in that moment of his vulnerability, i saw his soul.
underneath a huge canopy of dried out branches,
and the odd timing of bird calls,
i saw a human soul.
sad, regretful and ashamed.

i witnessed a grown man down and out.
once again, i have no clue as to how our conversation ended up where it did,
but i will never forget that walk on that rickety bridge.

he opened up to me to let me know i could open to him.

he led a small group at the church i attended at the time.
he meant something different to each of us.
he showed me what real faith was.
living through pain and moving past your mistakes.

i'll never forget that conversation,
and he'll never know the impact he had on my life.

thank you so much

.i hate AI, haha its true.

-Lnk-

3 in 1 night

so i was getting ready to go to sleep
and this smell creeps over my shoulder
and into my nostrils.

i turn around and the family dog is covered in poop!
feces, crap, bowel movements, doo doo smells worse,
mudbutt, diarrhea, anal excrement.
whatever you call it, it was awful smelling.

seeing as i'm the only person up this late at night
it was my duty to clean off the dootie.
i came severely close to throwing chunks 3 times.
it was horrible.

she is now dry, running around the house like nothing happened.

.smelly dog.

-Lnk-

@$#%&^*@(

^%&&$* (#@@!$%!$ $%@^# ^^!^!@# ^!@ ^@#
)!(@*% ^$&%% %&%&$$@ !!!!)_+++++ !%^@^$$
$#$@%!* &@*&@(# :": <>?% *&^%% !~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Lnk-

love isn't something you feel, its something you do

i have so much to say but it will bring me to tears.
conversations our short and thats how i like it.
the longer i talk, the more likely it is i'll lose it.
at anything really,
big or small.

i remembered my dream
and i looked it up.
close, think i've found it
hope i'm right.
if so, we have a lot of catching up to do.

this week should prove to be eventful.
gta 4, iron man, i phone.
good stuff.
hopefully

angry
tired
sore

.throw the games.

-Lnk-

birthday cards

i've gotten alot of them in my 22 years of life.
most of them are like "Oh....haha, funny. Thanks _______
thanks for the card." *smile*

but i got one today that meant more than any i've got in a long time.
heartfelt and honest.
it was perfect.
it was 10 years written on a white page.
condensed into a paragraph.

i also received two of the best hugs today.
they were also heartfelt and warm.
one from a friend i haven't seen in a long time.
whenever we hang out we always have very good conversations.
the other from a friend i've known for awhile now.
she's been through a lot and showed up at my door step after interviewing some bands.
she's cool like that.

all in all today was great.
one of the best birthday's ever.
friends came over and enjoyed themselves,
there was plenty of food for everyone.
felt good just living with other people and interacting.

i'm 22.
i'm old.
i'm grizzly.
i ain't jive.
i'm tired.
and i'm content.

.i'm loved.

-Lnk-

half-life

no its not,
i thought you were done?
i thought you wouldn't again?
whatever

no its not,
if there is one thing i can't stand
its 0>x<21 consuming
i hate it
its dangerous and illegal

i'm sorry i didn't say anything sooner,
i'm just made me mad that you compromised.
and if you didn't, then i'm sorry
thats how it looks from my backyard
~~~~~~~~~

.the serpent has beseeched me again...the fruit is ripe for the feast.

-Lnk-