found

found a community in which, truly, no question is dumb

no inquiry is looked down upon.

i have found that i spend a lot of time running through the forums,

reading the hearts, tears, troubles and triumphs

of many who share my same burdens.

it's comforting to know that it is possible to overcome.

truly overcome.

hung out with my sis a considerable amount this weekend.

good times, good times.

laughed tonight, good hearty laughter.

Mitch Hedberg is funny.

danced in Cold Stone, shot coke cans in a virtual world,

questioned why i long for intimacy yet hug shadowed corners so tightly.

read that God is returning to bring us to Him,

giving us opportunity over opportunity to love Him.

He is ever gracious.

it is these moments which i must remember and cherish.

when life gets tumultuous, i so easily forget these times

these days when i know whats happening.

these moments when friendships are as important as food.

speaking of food,

fasting is hard.

beat this body into submission.

listening to Herbie Hancock and Chick Corea "Maiden Voyage"

RIDONKULOUS!!

recommended by a man who enlightens me with musical knowledge that i can only dream of one day having

i know you'd like this babe.

i know you'd like a quiet evening,

just one night.

come back and i'll silence the world.

i'll mute the noise and we can be,

not do anything but sit, and be.

be safe.

stay warm.

i love you so entirely and fully.

Isaiah 40:28-31:

"Don't you know? Haven't you heard? The LORD is the everlasting God; He created the world. He never grows tired or weary. No one understands his thoughts . He strengthens those who are weak and tired. Even those who are young grow weak; young men can fall exhausted. But those who trust in the LORD for help will find their strength renewed. They will rise on wings like eagles; they will run and not get weary; they will walk and not grow weak."

keep us safe and warm in Your arms Lord.

as these days come and go and our distance only seems to grow,

pierce our hearts.

show us Your love in the everyday.

make our hearts and bodies crave You.

need You, seek You out.

thank You for redemption, for love

for relationships.

let us not forget You, in our days of doing.

let us just BE with You.

being in Your presence and under Your wings.

.wings, so friggin' cool.

-Lnk-

being and doing

"Life is not about doing, but about being. About being who God intended you to be"

i get so caught up in the doing this doing that routine,

that i forget to take time to be.

just be loved, just be talked to, just sit and be listening.

just be held, just be crying, just being alone, just being together.

so much that i miss out on life cause i'm busy doing.

that's what we've made life.

we do everything in hopes of one day not having to do anything.

working for the weekend, working for retirement.

we miss out on the miracles in daily life, miss out on the glimpses of heaven.

it is good to have your eyes on the goal,

but keeping your eyes on the world around you is just as awarding as crossing the finish line.

tonight i'll be underneath stars but probably won't look up.

it's great (sarcastic)

just get up and do and forget everyone around me,

the less i interact with them the more i can get done.

just out of my way.

i love people, and i love being with others.

tomorrow i'll focus on that.

at work, just being with my co-workers.

and in every and anyway possible

letting them know they are loved by me

and by God.

not in that order.

here goes tonight

-Lnk-

brother/sister hood

It is not good for you to be alone. No one will see victory in the days to come if he/she stands alone. you will need true brother/sister hood, stated the Counselor as He brought one of the shining warriors over to me. It was right for you to confess and repent to God when you were convicted of sin, but you must also learn to confess your sin to your brother/sister. You must learn to pray for one another so that you may be fully healed, because your brother/sister is part of you, and you a part of him. If you are honest and real, you will sharpen one another and you will have fellowship. This is part of what it means to walk in the light.

I felt strong hands placed on my shoulders. The noble warrior, my brother, now standing next to me, was praying for me. It was humbling at first, but as I began to confess my sins to him, we were surrounded with an ever-increasing glorious light. The light became so bright that I could hardly see. Much to my astonishment, he totally identified with me and understood my struggles-and even the sin which wars against my soul. For he had some of the very same struggles as I.

We began to openly share our hearts with each other. I felt safe and understood. Then I prayer for him as he had for me-for his weaknesses to be perfected by the Father's power. We were refreshed, renewed and invigorated. We laughed together for some time.......We challenged each other, spurred each other on, and sharpened one another....I realized for the first time just how badly I needed brotherhood. To be alone in this war would be crazy. We needed each other.

We then committed to love and serve our great God and King, and to love and serve each other. We were comrades. We were in this thing together-through thick and thin we would defend one another. I was starting to understood my puspose and my mission-our mission.


Excerpt from "Snakes in the Lobby" by Scott Macleod


Good book.


Good weekend


-Lnk-

heart

everyone that i have let in has hurt me in some way

i've learned from my past but pain is pain.

the first time was worse than the second time cause i now know where my love stands,

you can crush my heart but i'd still give you my hand.

there is blood on the sidewalks and on the streets,

it used to be robbers who mugged pedestrians

but know its gangs of priests.

we'd slit our own throats if we could sell our blood,

what's the deal, what have we become.

-Lnk-

tomorrow

we need to cherish tonight,

enjoy this moon and stars cause tomorrow we die.

i've seen it a thousand times before,

lovers so entwined not realizing they are dying.

after tonight i will disappear.

i'm sorry but i have no choice.

i will take my songs and my music and fly,

i can't wait to see the world from up high,

staring through the clouds to see land go for miles.

it still doesn't change the fact that we will fall.


-this absolutely means nothing. i'm up to late waiting for a game to download. i'm tired-

-Lnk-

loner

i chase sin.

i run after it cause it is now.

i am at times, severely alone.

i play music cause it fills an empty room,

i listen to sports talk radio, not because i like sports, but because it fills an empty car.

i hate being alone and love it at the same time.

no one can question me if they don't know me.

they can't keep me accountable.

that's why i'm so jealous of what i have.

my games, my music, my girlfriend.

i hoard it so i don't have to be alone.

i chase sin to temporarily fill a void.

You don't speak to me cause i no longer listen.

i'm horrible, i'm a hypocrite

and now i'm asked to lead.

how can i sing if i can barely live?

i need peace that passes any understanding.

i need joy, not happiness.

joy is lasting and strong.

i need Your arms around me tight while I sleep and cry.

i need to feel Your love.

i've read about it for so long and I've felt it once or twice.

but i need to have it poured on me.

just dripping off my fingers and onto my feet.

i need You Lord.

more than i need anything else.

-Lnk-

warm

i just want tonight with myself.

and that's the way i had it

but i want it with you,

and that's the way i can't have it.

-Lnk-