when everthing falls

when everything falls, i can't help but think it's sort of my fault.

like my sins have gone past effecting me and now influence those i love.

we all makes mistakes.

we all do things, that in the act itself, we know it is wrong.

but we do it anyway.

i am weak.

we all are weak and that is why we fall.

cause we think we can hold it together ourselves.

i think i can control my eyes, by myself.

and i can't.

and i never will be able to.

when everything falls, nothing feels worse.

waiting for a call that never comes.

worrying but feeling bad for doing so,

because by the sheer fact of worrying, implies that i'm not trusting.

what is there to do.

in this moment i need people.

i'm alone in a house, and alone in spirit.

i need tonight.

i need music and my friends.

i need tuesday, to see the one i love and hug her.

and forgive her and hope she forgives me.

forgives me for not being there.

for not encouraging her when she needs it.

for not being what she needs cause i do not know what i am.

i'm beyond looking.

i'm beyond writing blogs and not doing anything about this.

if i were my words, i'd be much better off.

but i am simply a heart that hurts and a brain that thinks to much.

i am simply a man.

-Lnk-