CLICK HERE FOR BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND MYSPACE LAYOUTS »

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

just read along

this entry is long, just read and enjoy

excerpt from RealLivePreacher.com-

The Three Sisters

"In 1997 I could not read the stars. I recognized no huam track or sign in the night sky. I saw the heavens with the eyes of a child.
Our third daughter was born that winter. We had decided three was our limit, so I was not going to have the son I had dreamed of. Those were strange days because I experienced grief and joy in equal measures. I had a vision of a little boy with a baseball glove who hung his read and turned away from me.
One night I noticed three little stars all in a row. I stopped and stared. "The Three Sisters," I whispered to myself. I had another vision, this time of three women meeting for tea. They stopped their conversation and smiled at me.
In those days I went outside almost every night to look at the The Three Sisters. I began to notice a red star that was always in a different place in the sky. It seemed to move across the constellations, on a journey all its own. I puzzled over this. Something seemed sad about the little star with no home. I began calling it "The Little Lost Boy."
Every night The Little Lost Boy moved closer to the horizon. I hated to see him go, but eventually I had to say goodbye. And so I did.
My stargazing was so innocent in those days -- so childlike and so helpful to me.
Then I bought The Audubon Society's Field Guide to the Night Sky. I pored over it and discovered that what I was calling "The Three Sisters" was really Orion's belt. I also found that "The Little Lost Boy" was mars. The planets do not have a set location in the sky, but seem to move in and out of the constellations. He wasn't lost at all.
The winter constellations became known to me, and I counted them as friends. Orion the strong with Lepus the hare at his feet and red-eyed Taurus over his shoulder. The teacup Pleiades, faithful Canis Major and the watchful Gemini Twins. Capella the she-goat with her three kids. Leo the lion rising in the east to chase them all away.
I wanted to know these things. I wanted to read the human language of the constellations. I gained knowledge, and the knowledge was good.
I also lost something. Had I known the constellations, I never would have seen The Three Sisters and the The Little Lost Boy. I would have never found that gentle path through and beyond my sadness.
The fruit of the tree of knowledge nourishes the soul, but ut has a price. Once you have tasted it, you can never see with the eyes of a child again. Pick up a book and look at the letters. You cannot see them as a child sees them. As soon as you look at the page, the letters will group themselves into words and phrases. They seem to have a life of their own. Once we come to understand these symbols, they are forever imprinted upon us. Our mind is molded by our knowledge.
Here's something fun. Turn the book upside down and look at the letters. It's like becoming a child again.
I cannot turn the sky upside down. The constellations jump into my vision and the planets are not as mysterious now that I know their names. In some ways the stars are closed to me now. I read them better, but they speak to me less.
There are nights when I look at the sky and wish I did now know. I wish I could find the The Little Lost Boy, but he is gone forever, swallowed up by Mars.
I'm intrigued by this finding and losing. I wonder about this trade -off between knowledge and vision, this price we pay to read our world.
Jesus said, "Unless you become like a child, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
I stand in my yard and speak to the sky. "What did you mean by that, Jesus? Why would you ask something so impossible of me?"

excerpt from Lupe Fiasco's Food and Liquor
Now come on everybody, let's make cocaine cool
We need a few more half naked women up in the pool
And hold this MAC-10 that's all covered in jewels
And can you please put your titties closer to the 22s?
And where's the champagne? We need champagne
Now look as hard as you can with this blunt in your hand
And now hold up your chain slow motion through the flames
Now cue the smoke machines and the simulated rain
But not too loud 'cause the baby's sleepin
I wonder if it knows what the world is keepin
Up both sleeves while he lay there dreamin
Me and my robot tip-toe 'round creepin
I had to turn my back on what got you paid
I couldn't see half the hood on me like Abu Ghraib
But I'd like to thank the streets that drove me crazy
And all the televisions out there that raised me, I was


.thanks for reading.

-Lnk-

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

give me the 5 o clock shadow and the side sweep

yea i'll take just that.

on another note.
i saw an old old friend.
she has one son, one daughter,
one baby daughter and one son in the oven.
her husband was instrumental in getting me through my high school years.

i remember one winter camp during high school,
he and i walked around the springs at the camp.
we were just admiring the scenery and marveling at the size of the trees.

talking accompanied our walk through the springs
and i don't know how we ever got to this
but he opened up and told me something about his and his wife's past.

they had pre-marital sex and she became pregnant.
they were young and he convinced her to get an abortion.
she did

now, so far away from that point.
they are married, and have four of the most beautiful kids ever.
but they quietly celebrate each year on the day,
their child that never was.

in that moment of his vulnerability, i saw his soul.
underneath a huge canopy of dried out branches,
and the odd timing of bird calls,
i saw a human soul.
sad, regretful and ashamed.

i witnessed a grown man down and out.
once again, i have no clue as to how our conversation ended up where it did,
but i will never forget that walk on that rickety bridge.

he opened up to me to let me know i could open to him.

he led a small group at the church i attended at the time.
he meant something different to each of us.
he showed me what real faith was.
living through pain and moving past your mistakes.

i'll never forget that conversation,
and he'll never know the impact he had on my life.

thank you so much

.i hate AI, haha its true.

-Lnk-

Sunday, April 27, 2008

3 in 1 night

so i was getting ready to go to sleep
and this smell creeps over my shoulder
and into my nostrils.

i turn around and the family dog is covered in poop!
feces, crap, bowel movements, doo doo smells worse,
mudbutt, diarrhea, anal excrement.
whatever you call it, it was awful smelling.

seeing as i'm the only person up this late at night
it was my duty to clean off the dootie.
i came severely close to throwing chunks 3 times.
it was horrible.

she is now dry, running around the house like nothing happened.

.smelly dog.

-Lnk-

@$#%&^*@(

^%&&$* (#@@!$%!$ $%@^# ^^!^!@# ^!@ ^@#
)!(@*% ^$&%% %&%&$$@ !!!!)_+++++ !%^@^$$
$#$@%!* &@*&@(# :": <>?% *&^%% !~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Lnk-

love isn't something you feel, its something you do

i have so much to say but it will bring me to tears.
conversations our short and thats how i like it.
the longer i talk, the more likely it is i'll lose it.
at anything really,
big or small.

i remembered my dream
and i looked it up.
close, think i've found it
hope i'm right.
if so, we have a lot of catching up to do.

this week should prove to be eventful.
gta 4, iron man, i phone.
good stuff.
hopefully

angry
tired
sore

.throw the games.

-Lnk-

Saturday, April 26, 2008

birthday cards

i've gotten alot of them in my 22 years of life.
most of them are like "Oh....haha, funny. Thanks _______
thanks for the card." *smile*

but i got one today that meant more than any i've got in a long time.
heartfelt and honest.
it was perfect.
it was 10 years written on a white page.
condensed into a paragraph.

i also received two of the best hugs today.
they were also heartfelt and warm.
one from a friend i haven't seen in a long time.
whenever we hang out we always have very good conversations.
the other from a friend i've known for awhile now.
she's been through a lot and showed up at my door step after interviewing some bands.
she's cool like that.

all in all today was great.
one of the best birthday's ever.
friends came over and enjoyed themselves,
there was plenty of food for everyone.
felt good just living with other people and interacting.

i'm 22.
i'm old.
i'm grizzly.
i ain't jive.
i'm tired.
and i'm content.

.i'm loved.

-Lnk-

Thursday, April 24, 2008

half-life

no its not,
i thought you were done?
i thought you wouldn't again?
whatever

no its not,
if there is one thing i can't stand
its 0>x<21 consuming
i hate it
its dangerous and illegal

i'm sorry i didn't say anything sooner,
i'm just made me mad that you compromised.
and if you didn't, then i'm sorry
thats how it looks from my backyard
~~~~~~~~~

.the serpent has beseeched me again...the fruit is ripe for the feast.

-Lnk-

nope, not once

oh come on.
no i don't understand.
friggin' got to be kidding me.
~~~~~~

i woke up and took a shower at 5:30 this morning

.a dead baby means an F.

-Lnk-

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

time was

time was fun and we enjoyed what we had.
we didn't know what we had was so great and took it for granted.
looking back at photos now i realize that we've all gone different places,
some are married, some moved and some are still around.

i miss the late nights just talking and writing music.
whenever one of us was bored we could count on the other entertaining us.
whether we needed help moving, or needed someone to listen
we were always there.

i was very quiet and never really spoke but always observed.
and you may never know how much you meant to me.
you all shaped me and made me who i am.
more than any class, more than any amount of knowledge,
more than anything,
you all made me who i am today.

and there was one.
after everyone my age started life,
i stayed back and tried to find mine.
everything was on cruise and seemed just fine.
then the wave hit and washed away all my "friends"
and there was one.
one kid who apart from everyone stood up for me
when i had no voice.
he caught a lot of flack for it
but was standing up for me.
he was there the night after and just listened.
we just sat on the beach and spoke.
good friends are hard to come by
but best friends are found in the storm.

now i'm so far away from where i thought i'd be.
i've done so much and lived through so many hours.
i'm very thankful for all that God has allowed me to be a part of.
i'm very lucky to have seen so many kids lives changed,
to meet people in places where i never thought i'd go.
make friends in states that i thought where extremely boring.

i'm in love with the greatest girl ever.
my friends and i have way too much fun on a cell phone. (IB's)
and i have a God who despite my failings and faults,
loves me more than i could ever know.
~~~~~~~~~~~

i saw my past run through my mind
and despite it all,
i smiled.

.hallelujah.

-Lnk-

we could go

"we could go to the new church down the street.
it pampers all its members.
they have a coffee shop, a gift shop and a dry cleaners that accepts all competitors coupons."

"if i wanted to go that route,
i could just walk through the mall and think about Jesus."
-King of the Hill

-Lnk-

Sunday, April 20, 2008

again..

i saw it again.
that horrible look i get when i find one.
just one turns it all back on and i can't look.
i have to go back, go forward
go anywhere but where i'm at.

goodness, why can't i take that?
why can't i put up with it
i'm done
i'm back to what i was doing before

.great-up the track now back down.
.rollercoaster.

-Lnk-

Friday, April 18, 2008

every age every stage every day

just run.
so far away.

someone might tap on my window

someone might

we are all bending now

.backwards.

-Lnk-

Thursday, April 17, 2008

don't look

look away
just don't look at all.
it'll save you a lot of trouble. trust me
just walk outside and wait for everyone else to leave

breathe, its hard i know just breathe deep and it'll be over soon
i promise

.atl8-fla0.

-Lnk-

Monday, April 14, 2008

speaking in poems

i find that i do this alot.
speaking in flowery words to kind of hide the actual meaning of them.
i enjoy making the english language sound prettier than it actually is
but if i do it too much the words lose their intended meaning.

i saw what i looked like today and really just focused on it.
am i where i want to be?
am i content with where i'm at?
its hard taking a good look at yourself and evaluating your life.
its actually quite scary

i can't think of certain things cause i'm too affected by the thoughts.
i can easily justify whatever i'm thinking about and say "It 's okay"
but i know its not.

its bad when you can so easily justify your actions.
i need to be honest with myself.
which leads me back to looking at where i'm at.

continuous circle

.cycle endless cycle.

-Lnk=

the glory and the fall

i almost let it all go, i almost saw our end.
i played it out in my head and hated it
but i seemed plausible and almost necessary.
i'm in a whack mood
so this page and those associated with it should be read with that
disclaimer in mind.
i really hope you are willing to try and talk.
cause i'm not into being together and not talking.

this pain is causing me to think
this pain is causing me to wish
i was someone who knew the answers
to his own questions.

this ride is causing the pain
and this tear stained face is all i
have to show for patience and loyalty

keep your promises, keep your words
for someone foolish enough to believe them.
get back to me, i'm waiting on you
but time doesn't exempt me cause i tell
it i'm standing around for a call.

i'll hold up in my brain and
not talk. if i look out i see too
much and get excited. i'll join the trees
in finding roots and taking place.

i don't want this life. i want one that counts.
Holy Spirit lets do something
i'm calling me out. i don't want
(square) anymore.

-Lnk-

Saturday, April 12, 2008

the sun has set you free

hosanna hosanna
hosanna in the highest

heal my heart and make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen. show me how to love like you have loved me. break my heart for what is yours. everything I am for your kingdom's cause. as I walk from earth into eternity

i found my new favorite vocalist: Christy Nockels. her voice is amazing. simply stunning. the way she sings just makes any song come alive.

we are free
we are free
the son has set you free

drop your chains
sons and daughters
come run in liberty


You're the God of this city
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of the nations
You are

You're the light in this darkness
You're the hope to the hopeless
You're the peace to the restless
You are

there is no one like our God

for greater things are yet to come
greater things are still to be done in this city.

i'm sure i'll think of some more stuff tomorrow on the ride back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
the story of God is everywhere
the sun defeats the darkness and ushers in a new day.

Jesus conquered the world by being in time and out of it at the same time.
He claimed His victory before He had in our time, but since exists out of time He saw that He had already won.
He was transcedent because He is part of the Trinity. God, the Son and the Holy Spirit. 3 in 1 yet seperate entities entirely. So if God exists out of time and God and Jesus are the same, and Jesus was here on Earth, then He was living in our time, but existing outside of time.

If what Christ said was true, that He was sending His spirit down to dwell in us then we have God in us. then we are transcedent. we were with Him "before the foundations of the earth."
we were "crucified with Christ." i know there is a verse saying something along the lines of we were raised from the dead with Him.

we were with Him before the beginning, in Christ's death and resurrection.

craziness

well i'm going to retire to watching the Office.

.268.

-Lnk-

this is the war

memories so far from passion '08 so i don't forget.

Jesus = transcendent
Us = transcendent because He is in us

Holy Spirit = when Jesus left (ascended) to Heaven He said He would send the His spirit(counselor) after He left. the same spirit that brought Him (Jesus) back from the dead is in us. is in US. we are temple's.

the Bible isn't about us. it isn't about us getting a place in Heaven, it isn't about US, me you group. it is about God.

our life is a match that we can let burn out or we can place that match up into the already burning flame of Christ and give our lives to something more than ourselves.

James 5:17 " Elijah was a man like us." (not word for word, just how I remember it)

if Elijah was like us than what am i doing?

so far that's all i got. i'll have more tonight

.miss.

-Lnk-

Monday, April 7, 2008

T.G.O.I.A

spent time with a friend and his family. it was good.
we took a drive around and really didn't go anywhere,
just ate some 7/11 cookies and had a slurpee.

borrowed the new Passion cd and i'm uber excited to leave thursday for Atlanta.
miss that stuff.
wish you were coming baby.

~~~~~~~~~~~
When you close your eyes even your eyelids are beautiful
for so long there have been traces of you in blood vessels inside my skull
that coarse you eagerly through me into my hands that reach for you
I love you and I always will
it's all so sweetly beautifully true
and time just makes you so much more wonderful
swimming in the ocean that's drifting in your eyes
I'm walking on a fine line of elation and joy to see the eyes of you

The things are surfacing since years and years ago
leaving me to wonder off in search of all I know

Porcelain skin and the dizzying smile the eyes holding forever blue
just know that I'm in love with you
know that I'm in love with you

So hold me now as I'm holding you
and treasure what we know is true
on my own would never really be alone
unless it's without you

And we go on against scrapes and sores
we break the doors
we will be together
you will lift my heart and move my soul
for all that I am and all that we are
they won't pick apart the truth to spread the lies inside of it disabling
and rendering the truth under it's opposite

Remember me I'm yours today
and if you will come to me and if you stay
I'll offer all I have and sacrifice myself to cherish you
the wind is getting colder and the years are getting older
I won't ever know the feeling of giving up on you
oh beautiful and fair and amazingly true
my heart my eyes and everything is a sentiment to you
created in the image of love that's everlasting
and I draw her out in the future I'd been mapping

Across the sea beyond the sky
even after we lay down to die
I'll love you forever and I'll love you again
I'll love you after every single thing ends

.Life, Kisses And Other Wasted Efforts.

-Lnk-

Saturday, April 5, 2008

time will tell/ July 28th

you can only run with the dogs before people start calling you a mutt,
i spoke tonight about summers ago and now i'm outside looking back in.
apple's rot, banana's turn black, friends move back to where they were,
i can think about working, actually do some, focus on school, focus on a game,
workout, eat better, ride bikes, throw football
but if you roll in the mud with the pigs, you'll eventually start rooting around for food

~~~~~~~~~~

showbread - And The Smokers And Children Shall Be Cast Down

Under a light in Bethlehem I was sifting through the sand,
The saline burned my eyes, I was looking for your hand,
I gave up on myself, and left this pride disarmed,
I cried out “I’m alone!�? and found myself in your arms

Rest in me oh my love,
I have loved you before the world began,
Rest in me oh my love,
You will never to wander too far to reach my hand,
Did they not murder you?
Did they not see you die?
Hanging on a tree as the life had left your eyes,
Did we not torture you?
Smiling as you died,
Or is it that you killed death itself, and now you are alive?
~~~~~~~~~~

i can't find a speck in me worth saving, when you find love chase it
follow it till the ends of the earth or until your heart falls off the edge
whats life for if you don't risk, not the board game RISK, i stink at that game
~~~~~~~~~~

i'm sorry i killed you, it was so easy
just place my hand down and end everything you've done.
what if someone smacked me down, ended my life and loves
i'm sorry you no longer exist, i wish i could take it back

.july 28th-vampire day sukka's.

-Lnk-

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

girls-boys

Girls



















Boys


no walls

win the war and get our troops out
secure our borders
explore our alternate energy resources
cut taxes (for the poor)
help our poor get off the streets

find my candidate, no party lines
no red, no blue
just one candidate that makes sense

you are saying that you are out to unite the races,
you are propagating division by being causing division amongst your own party mates and amongst republicans
and you republicans aren't without fault
promising so much but only doing what everyone around you tells you to do

who said we need 2 parties that control everything,
why do they have to disagree on everything
this is hurting us

one candidate, thats all

.no walls.

-Lnk-