covers over your fingers children, no cheating

how do you spell war using love,
or peace using the letters found in gun.
i thought america was spelled as such,
i have realized that it is spelled money.

i was taught not to cheat,
but no one told me that it was permissible.
so we'll build a boat with too many sails,
we can hope the wind will catch us.
those ideas that carry us to wherever they do,
those are the ones we will believe.
~~~~~~~~
i've seen your eyes dark sky gray,
and i've seen your smile as bright as the sun rays.

-Lnk-

just checking

i'm disappointed.
so many of you so willingly just turn about face and do what you're doing.
you most likely will never read this,
but it still hurts me nonetheless.

i thought i knew you,
and now, well, its not the same.

-Lnk-

august

They don't have an extravagant story of how they met. It wouldnt sell in theatres. He didnt rescue her from life. They just found each other. In this vast ocean of people, God saw it fit for them to find each other. They just spoke. They hung out in a parking lot and spoke. They sing. Not together as much as he'd like, but they do. She sings like an angel, he sang to find one. He sings now, but only for and about her. She still sings just not using music. She walks, she laughs, she smiles, she says 'I love you' the sweetest song of all. Like I said, their story isn't epic. Its just them. Their story isn't extravagant but their love is. He loves her more then she'll ever know. And she is all his. There isn't much wrong. Hell, there isn't anything wrong. Today she said, 'the sun is gorgeous!' he agreed, not outloud but he agreed. And then he thought, 'so are you'. He didnt say it, don't know why he didnt say it, he regrets it. But she is gorgeous, she really is. If you could meet her, you'd agree. She is perfect. Not the air-brushed magazine girl, she is genuine beauty. Classical, like the beauty you find in old black and whites. Like the sun on the water, right when its setting, and the sky is purple. She is just natural beauty. She doesn't have to try. She wakes up beautiful. And he is lucky. He is nothing more than a wishful thinker. He has great ideas, high hopes and more to figure out than he knows. But he knows he's in love. In love with the most wonderful woman/girl God has ever graced this earth with. Like aforementioned, he is lucky. And she is royal.

He loves her more than she'll ever know, and he will always tell her that he does.

-Lnk-

the internet

is too funny to me.
f&m make me laugh.
yt is ridiculous.
cry and complain, comment.
its funny.
and its actually quite sad.
oh well,
i digress.
and so does everyone else.

.slowly going the way of the buffalo.

-Lnk-

i'm am

second,
plan b,
the night time,
after the rest,
just in case,
if perchance,
if there's time,
maybe just maybe.

.and i'm comfortable here.

-Lnk-

surprise

most everyone lets me down sometime or another,
but every night You always surprise.
the sky never changes,
but its still perfect.
the moon was in new york before i was,
and was shining on my house before i crossed the state line.

You are more beautiful and difficult to understand than anyone.
if i ever forget that, all i have to do is step outside.
i love it.
its the chase.
like when you find that girl you like,
you chase her.
not in the stalker way.
you just make sure you sit next to her.
you find out what she likes,
you make yourself available if she needs to talk.
thats what it is.

its that chasing of You that keeps me joyful.
~~~~~~~

i saw the other end of what i am tonight.
i saw death.
but it wasn't as awful sounding as the word itself paints.
it was simply put,
soft.
the light blue casket,
my friend singing through her tears,
the silver cross in the casket,
the family hugging and holding.
it was surreal and i wish i could've told them how much it meant to me.
this was my turn to play for my grandma.
i never got the chance to.

but it was peaceful.
it reminded me how mysterious death is.
there was a quiet women in a silky, ornate casket.
she could've gotten up and joined in the songs and i wouldn't have been shocked.
personally, i was waiting for her to do that.
just stand up and ask why everyone was crying.

your body doesn't look to dead when your gone.
but you can sense that that person will never again speak.
your eyes say they are a person,
but your mind sees the absence in their eyes.

what i told jessie ann was true and will most likely always be.
i love old spanish people.
they are cute and look so happy to be alive.
despite the fact that they are losing loved ones.
they speak so cautiously,
or they don't speak.
they can say more with a touch of their head, chest and arms.

i'm surprised by You and by death.

the both are beautiful and confusing.

. I was hoping you would be waiting there for me lately
I was hoping you'd be waiting for me
I was hoping you'd be waiting there for me lately
I was hoping you would be waiting there for me
I was hoping you would be waiting there for me lately
but you're not the kind who would be waiting, not for anybody
you're not the kind who would be waiting not for anybody not even me.

-Lnk-

lupe fiasco

lupe fiasco is on-point. lyrics to Hurt Me Soul

"Hurt Me Soul"

Now I ain't tryna be the greatest
I used to hate hip-hop... yup, because the women degraded
But Too $hort made me laugh, like a hypocrite I played it
A hypocrite I stated, though I only recited half
Omittin the word "bitch," cursin I wouldn't say it
Me and dog couldn't relate, til a bitch I dated
Forgive my favorite word for hers and hers alike
But I learnt it from a song I heard and sorta liked
Yeah, for the icin, glamorized drug dealin was appealin
But the block club kept it from in front of our buildin
Gangsta rap-based filmings became the buildin blocks
For children with leakin ceilings catchin drippins with pots
Coupled with compositions from Pac, Nas's "It Was Written"
In the mix with my realities and feelings
Living conditions, religion, ignorant wisdom and artistic vision
I began to jot, tap the world and listen, it drop

My mom can't feed me, my boyfriend beats me
I have sex for money, the hood don't love me
The cops wanna kill me, this nonsense built me
And I got noooo place to gooo
They bomb my village, they call us killers
Took me off they welfare, can't afford they health care
My teacher won't teach me, my master beats me
And it huuurts meee soooul

I had a ghetto boy bop, a Jay-Z boycott
'Cause he said that he never prayed to God, he prayed to Gotti
I'm thinkin godly, God guard me from the ungodly
But by my 30th watchin of "Streets is Watchin"
I was back to givin props again and that was botherin
By this uncomfortable as a untouchable touchin you
The theme songs that niggas hustle to seem wrong but these songs was comin true
And it was all becoming cool
I found a condom on the ground that Johns would cum into and thought
What constitutes a prostitute is the pursuit of profit then they drop it
The homie in a suit pat her on the butt, then rock it
It seems I was seein the same scene adopted
Prevalent in different things with the witnesses indifferent to stop it
They said don't knock it, mind ya business
His business isn't mine and that nigga pimpin got it

They took my daughter, we ain't got no water
I can't get hired, they cross on fire
We all got suspended, I just got sentenced
So I got noooo place to gooo
They threw down my gang sign, I ain't got no hang time
They talk about my sneakers, poisoned our leader
My father ain't seen me, turn off my TV
'Cause it huuurts meee soooul

So through the Grim Reaper sickle sharpening
Macintosh marketing
Oil field augering
Brazilian adolescent disarmament
Israeli occupation
Islamic martyrdom, precise
Yeah, laser guided targeting
Oil for food, water, and terrorist organization harborin
Sand camouflage army men
CCF sponsorin, world conquerin, telephone monitorin
Louis Vuitton modelin, pornographic actress honorin
String theory ponderin, bullimic vomitin
Catholic priest fondlin, pre-emptive bombin and Osama and no bombin them
They breakin in my car again, deforestation and overloggin and
Hennessy and Hypnotic swallowin, hydroponic coughin and
All the world's ills, sittin on chrome 24-inch wheels, like that

They say I'm infected, this is why I injected
I had it aborted, we got deported
My laptop got spyware, they say that I can't lie here
But I got noooo place to gooo
I can't stop eatin, my best friend's leavin
My pastor touched me, I love this country
I lost my earpiece, I hope y'all hear me
'Cause it huuurts meee soooul

i'm back

so i'm back from my trek to new york.
it was marvelous. drove through so many beautiful states.
all with a beautiful girl.
everything was our first together.
our first road trip.
our first time driving through New York City (not on purpose at all)
first time getting pulled over (my fault not hers)
first fist fight (loving fight of course)

i drove the majority of the time,
which i totally didn't mind at all.
having her sit next to me and giving me little kisses sporadically,
angelic.
i drove the last six hours straight through,
she slept.
she was so peaceful.

i have nothing else to say besides we have the whole summer ahead of us.
we have plans,
and we have love.
nothing stands in between us and everything.

.georgia speaks,

-Lnk-

changes

tomorrow....everything changes.
i'm too excited.

.yeah!!!!!.

-Lnk-

from the start

i've been a sinner as long as i can remember.
my sins are my chains.
no matter how hard i try,
their noise keeps me awake.

i've stood still and for awhile i forgot about them.
no noise, no pull.
i felt alright and normal.
i read books, i lived and forgot.

then i moved.
they pulled harder, their grasp hadn't weakened.
they were stronger then before,
the shackles dug into my ankles.

i packed the wounds full of dirt.
it was the only thing around.
i was in the dirt, becoming the ground.
the dirt filled my cuts and subdued the pain.

i walk, slowly i walk towards the fountain.
i can see it, i can smell it.
its tangible.
the closer i get to it the further it is away.

i'm no longer held by chains,
the dirt has grown around me.
it has become the chains.
i can't walk out of this.

some days the fountain is brighter,
other days its invisible.

i can hear others around me,
but they, like the fountain, shift in and out of focus.

i heard someone scream "this way!!"
i couldn't make out which direction it was,
but i ran nonetheless.

the dirt grew up around my calves
and slowly penetrated through my skin.
it shot thoughts through my brain.
it was all i could do to focus on the voice.

i found the edge.
my legs bloodied, my arms withered
and my soul worn.
i jumped.
i landed.

i was somewhere totally different.
everyone around me was stained with dirt.
all our wounds were apparent,
but we hugged each other still.

by our touch, we were brushing off the dirt.
some were dirtier than others,
but the love was the same.
this was the stream.
a stream to the fountain.

it was beautiful.
there were songs,
there were hugs,
there was honesty.

we didn't deny the fact that we were covered in mud.
we didn't embrace it either.
we shared our experiences
and prayed.

we danced in the water
and felt its cooling touch wash away our dirt.

that was then,
and this is......
well this is now.

the dirt never left.
i can walk easier,
but its still around.
the chains are slowly fastening.
the fountain is still flowing.

the dirt will never leave.
till the day that fountain bursts,
the dirt will have its hold on us.
on me.

it is up to me to walk to that stream.
friends help, but ultimately this is my choice.
i have to walk and pray that i can be forgiven.
and with that grace, i can wash away my dirt.
i can cleanse my filthy wounds.
i can quench my thirst.

.forgiven&forgotten.

-Lnk-

ailments

so i've been sick for the past couple of days.
i've scoured the net to find quick ways to fix a sore throat.
i leave early monday morning to fly to new york.
i'm picking my baby up and we're driving down.

it should be exciting, but thats besides the point.

i don't want to be sick when i fly up.
so i tried this method i found online.
gargling with cayenne pepper.
it works great.
its purty awesome.

but it doesn't taste to great.
cayenne pepper and warm water....blech!
but that got me thinking???
taste???

taste are just the opinions of the mouth.
why don't i like something?
cause it doesn't taste good to me?
why doesn't it taste good to me?
some people love candy hearts,
i don't care for them.
some people think that the war in iraq is justified,
i disagree.

so yeah, through my own awkward thinking,
i have been "enlightened".
taste are the opinions of the mouth.

all this wisdom from having a sore throat.

.scratchy-scratch.

-Lnk-

the moon

she was in front of me,
then over my right shoulder.
then in front of me again.

i just sat down and watched her watch me.
she didn't say anything to me
and i didn't say anything to her.
we just stared at each other.
no words were required.

i drove over all of you,
i watched your reds and whites.
i had some of my own to add to the party.

.i'm greedy.


-Lnk-

saved

i was saved by audio.
if it weren't for the Passion '08 cd,
my ride home would've been atrocious.

i have this weird habit of riding my bike late at night.
i'm going to continue that habit now.

.buh bye.

-Lnk-

you know?

you know those days when despite your failures,
you know it'll be alright.
despite workdays ahead,
you are calm and excited for the night.

today was purty.
light smoke from the everglades,
cool breeze, sunset.
it was a good ride.

the sun was huge.
so big it was tangible.
like an over ripe tangerine sinking into the ground.
the moon, small and silent, waited for its turn to reign the sky.

it was perfect.
God is poetic.
look at the sky.
its perfect.

-Lnk-

i'm back

she: how was it tonight?
he: it was awesome. He definitely showed up.
she: how do you know He "showed up"?
he: cause i know me. i know how much i lack.

so i don’t care if... nobody loves me, nobody loves me
nobody loves me but you

.derek webb.

-Lnk-

da da da dee da da

your getting pretty old and your growing some grays,
around your pretty face.
you sleep most of the time and don't runaway,
like you used to in your old days.

your nails are growing long, you walk really slow,
your voice is purely frail.
you've always been my friend and you're with me through the end,
even after you kick the pail.

yeah i wrote you a song, even though your my dog,
but you are still my love.
yeah i wrote you a song, even though your my dog,
you'll always be my love.

we bought you and we brought you home,
you ran into the lake.
we jumped in after you and swam as fast as we could,
we couldn't lose our babe.

we saved you from the murky depths,
and took you inside.
we dried you off good and went out to play,
till the sun did hide.

yeah i wrote you a song, even though your my dog,
but you are still my love.
yeah i wrote you a song, even though your my dog,
you'll always be my love.

and i know the day will come,
when our ways must part.
but leave knowing this,
you'll always have my heart.

yeah i wrote you a song, even though your my dog,
but you are still my love.
yeah i wrote you a song, even though your my dog,
you'll always be my love.

.inspired by my doggy.
.she hates me.

-Lnk-

i'm a blog machine

you saw her for the first time and you knew it was destiny.
you knew you were made for her, this is destiny.
the second time she waved and you waved back,
but she was looking through you to the man in line.

just pack your bags and walk through the door,
she isn't worth worrying over anymore.
you loved her more than anyone else could,
but she made her choice.

you blocked off the walk to land her in your lap,
you set up a candlelit dinner on the patio.
you threw your pager over,
it was love.

just pack your bags and walk through the door,
she isn't worth worrying over anymore.
you loved her more than anyone else could,
but she made her choice.

you made her a fountain,
one not a thousand.
like antony for cleopatra.
it was love.

.terminal.

-Lnk-

wedding dress pt. 1

if you could love me as a wife
and for my wedding gift, your life
should that be all i’ll ever need
or is there more i’m looking for

and should i read between the lines
and look for blessings in disguise
to make me handsome, rich, and wise
is that really what you want

i am a whore i do confess
but i put you on just like a wedding dress
and i run down the aisle
i’m a prodigal with no way home
but i put you on just like a ring of gold
and i run down the aisle to you

so could you love this bastard child
though i don’t trust you to provide
with one hand in a pot of gold
and with the other in your side
i am so easily satisfied
by the call of lovers less wild
that i would take a little cash
over your very flesh and blood

because money cannot buy
a husband’s jealous eye
when you have knowingly deceived his wife

.derek webb is amazing.

-Lnk-

tdwp

impurity lies less than skin deep,
no need for a microscope,
just open up your eyes.

anger is what i've held inside of me.
no need for a talking to,
just clam it up.

.tdwp.

-Lnk-

sympathize

i know what you're going through.
my grandma went through the same thing.
we put her in a "convalescent home" cause her husband couldn't look after her correctly.
i only got to go once.

i regret that.

if the colors were anything but gray, i didn't notice.
everything was ugly.
the walls, the floors, the ceiling tiles, everything.
we saw her room.
scattered pictures of her daughters and a small twin bed.
her imprint was permanent.
her stuffed animal held her spot.

she was on a mobile bed in the living room area.
she was skinny, pale and her skin hung.
we sat next to her while she watched tv.
she stared into it.
her eyes frozen.
her husband fed her.
it was beautiful and tragic.
their marriage, their struggle to leave Cuba, their lives that they sacrificed so that their daughters could have the best.
it was ending here.
in this home.
in this room.
with this spoonful of food.

i never saw my grandpa cry.
until then.
i choked on my tears.
my mom looked away.
my sister, young, understood the pain and was quiet.
i stared.

she taught me how to sing, how to play the piano, how to play hide and seek, how to laugh.
she made me me.
this woman, my grandma, was scarce.
i was looking at the end of life.
and i saw her cry.

she shed one tear.
out of her left eye.
she knew she was at the end
and she knew we were crying.

they put her back in her bed
and she started to sing.
i don't know what song it was
but it will be sang in Heaven.

her voice was shaky and as frail as her bones.
but it was strong and piercing.
it shook me then and makes me cry now.

it was the last thing i heard her say.
she never got to say goodbye.
the Alzheimer's came and she never even knew she lost her memory.

she would forget who we were, who i was.
but i'll never let her leave.
she is in everyone of my songs,
she is in every lyric i sing.
every note i play, every beat i tap.
it is her in me.

Tata, i know you are in Heaven serenading the angels.
Your voice was and still is beautiful.
I know you'd love Sarah.
She is smart and beautiful and artsy.
You and her could paint together.
You'd love her.

I love you Tata.

.rana.

-Lnk-

wedding dress pt. 2

it isn't about when i want to talk.
its not about what i want and when i want it.
its about give and take.
its about patience and understanding.

its about love and what that requires.
love requires truth in the most painful of conversations.
where you aren't afraid of what you are saying cause it is the truth.
when you are told what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

forgiveness, loyalty, prayer, accountability.
~~~~~~~~~~
thank you.
cs+jz
~~~~~~~~~~

i worked today and my feet are sore yet again.
one little kid came in this afternoon and had on heelies.
he skated passed me and ate it. didn't hurt himself.
got back up and skated around again.
i told amy to watch,
he skated and fell again.
this kid would not take the ground as his resting place.
before long we were all walking together watching this kids perseverance being tested.

it was awesome.
made my day easier.
i like my job.
its quite simple really, clean up the mess people make.
fold the clothes and help them out if they need it.
my coworkers are purty snazzy.
one girls name is Falyn.
very original name.....

i enjoyed Jamba but i needed a change and this place is perfect.

i really am blessed.
damn, i don't deserve anything.
i'm a boy saved by grace.


.they're going to take our licenses away.

-Lnk-

marriage

"Marriage.....marriage is what brings us together today."


went to a good friends civil ceremony.
they are having their actual wedding in columbia but they had a ceremony up here.
just sang some songs and shared stories about them.
it was beautiful.

i work tomorrow.
i'm excited.

nothing more to say.
got to sleep.

-Lnk-

acoustic

i read how Moses parted a sea
and how you blinded Paul.
how they stoned Your Stephen,
and how he praised You through it all.

how can i call myself Your son,
what have i ever done
to bring you glory?
i'm just a boy saved by grace,
is that all i am to You?

i read how David killed a giant,
and how he killed his own men.
i'll take my own Bathsheeba
and i'll be repenting again.

how can i call myself Your son,
what have i ever done
to bring you glory?
i'm just a boy saved by grace,
is that all i am to You?

and i know that we're not perfect,
but some days are impossible.
so is it really worth it,
to try when i know i'll fail.

how can i call myself Your son,
what have i ever done
to bring you glory?
i'm just a boy saved by grace,
is that all i am to You?
or is there more?

and if i call myself Your son,
what have i ever done
to bring you glory?
i'm just a boy saved by grace,
is there more to me?

-Lnk-

new

new phone,
new age,
new job.
yea!!

-Lnk-

dead man

"Dead man, is it being high that makes you alive?
It makes you leave behind three boys and a wife in '89
As the track marks inched their way up your arm
My mother taught my brothers and I not to call you daddy
But to call you father

But I believe there is something here to be learnt of grace
'Cause I can't help but love you
Even with a heart that breaks
Like the promises that you made

Cause I can't help but love you"

- as cities burn

i had the most fun you can possibly have with duct tape last night

i left early

i've discovered i don't do well with large crowds,
i left cause i knew 2 people,
but everyone knew everyone else.
it reminded me of a while back.
when everything was sparkly and plastic.

its not been the same since.

"and i wouldn't have it any other way"
- Set Your Goals

.goodbye to sleep.

-Lnk-

this country of blood

Iron Man....go see it!
awesome movie

so weird thing happened last night.
i woke up at about 3 am and rolled over and thought there was someone in my bed.
i was scared, paralyzed.
i realized it was my shadow being cast on the wall next to me.
the light was coming from my clock.
i could've sworn it was someone.

that was weird.

had a dream that my friends and i were hanging out at someone's house.
i walked outside and the sky was grey.
a horrible storm was coming.
i told everyone that we needed to get inside.
the storm hit the house hard.
the walls were shaking and the roof was bending.

the doorbell rang.
i ran to the front of the house and peeped in the peep hole.
it was my friend's girl.
soaking wet, scared and pale faced.

thats where it ended.
i need to stop having whack dreams.

i watched the new office episode tonight.
really glad that i can still laugh.

once again... Iron Man.....go see it....now!!

.war machine.

-Lnk-