don't go

i'm sorry that i can't get this out of my head,
but when i hold you i have the nagging feeling that you will leave.
that this hand i'm holding will disappear,
that these lips that i kiss are soon going away.

i don't want to get attached cause you won't be here.
i know how your hand feels in mine,
but time will slowly etch that memory away into
"what once was".
then that will be a dream hoped for.

we've been together for somewhere in the neighborhood of 2 years.
but we still have a lot to learn,
and a lot of growing to do.

if i could kill a bear to make you not leave,
i would.
if i had to scale mount olympus to make us work,
i would.
not saying that we are broken,
i just see areas that we need to grow in.
and i'm not one to be particularly patient.

i love you,
i know i do.
i can feel it when i see you.
your overwhelming-ness.
your laugh, your words,
your freckles.

but that will all be gone.
and i will be here trudging through this sh**
that they call college.
2 more years of this?
i was asked how much longer you'll be away,
and i realized 2 more years.

read baby.
read.
encourage me to read too.
lets talk about it openly.
lets share that part of our lives together,
at least while your down here.

i miss you.

i woke up with the greatest feeling of loneliness this morning.
maybe because i never properly said goodbye last night,
maybe cause i didn't walk you out to your car.

one of your friends said they <33333333 you so much.
they have no idea how much i love you,
and how much God loves His daughter.

i'm jealous of them,
i'm jealous of LI.

.motherrussia.

-Lnk-