first beer i've enjoied

bought my first case,
with my sis.
cause i needed cash back at publix.
hahahaha
but d.d. turned me on to blue moon.
taste good!

listening to mewithoutYou
forcing myself to work on a paper.
but that's going nowhere quickly.
but i want to dance outside,
on the roof,
with you.
hand in hand.
would you be as simple as i've imagined?
or are you just as everything else that i've built up?
destined to fall after i've touched you.

just keep your distance,
whisper loud enough so i can hear you.
but don't let me close,
because when that happens
i will ruin everything.

boom clap clap
clap clap
clap clap

so.......
yeah.
nothing really nuts going on with me.
i really want to be touched though.
i miss that.

but i don't want just anybody,
i want that someone.
who i can talk to hours with.
about life, God, politics, music.
i want her to challenge me,
not necessarily by her words
more by her actions.

i've seen some.
but not yet.
i keep telling myself not yet.
but i can imagine my hand in yours,
your face in my palms.
your head on my chest.
but who am i for you?
why me when you can have anyone else?
others wanted "life" or my best friend.
what do i lack?
what am i missing?

am i that inadequate...
am i insufficient.
is there something that i do not have
that causes girls to slowly fade away from me?
what is it....
what can i fix?

i remember now walks at the park.
leaving to drive,
playing basketball endlessly,
tuning tiny acoustics.
looking for small dog,
laying on your road,
flying to see,
driving back,
crying.

wow!!
that's is a lot of stuff.
man, what have i done?
so many memories,
but they are nothing more than that.

i am helpless.
God, pour me out.
tie me up, untie me!!

kiss me please.
hug me so i know you'd like to.

but once again,
you never will.
because i'll never tell you how i feel.

i'm not going to lose again,
so stop before you try.

.thankstothepast.

-Lnk-