questions for no one

ever had your heart jump in throat?

your pulse is tangible in your neck.

your stomach twists and creates a pretzel.

when the day is fine, one thing can ruin it.

one thing at night.

innocent and not with the intention to hurt, but it does.

like a brick wall slamming on your intestines.

no not a brick wall, a knife in your gut.

no one pulls it out but instead twist it.

all the time they are innocent.

they have no idea what they are doing and i can't tell them.

i love them to much to say this hurts.

ever had everyone tell you one thing when you know its the exact opposite?

every realize you are a walking oximoron?

ever want to punch yourself in the face for being you?

complementing someone never hurt so much. saying goodbye never felt so good and freeing. tears for fears never made this much sense to me.

when single words bring so much emotion, what can you do? i can't hide from words cause i speak them. songs suck ever more. especially Hey there Delilah. worst song ever. hate it cause it makes too much friggin sense. ughhhhhhhh hate that song.

but one word, kiss. seeing others put that word into action kills. they kiss their loved ones and i can't.

even watching Blades of Glory. when Katie (Jenna Fisher) and Jimmy MacElroy ( Jon Heder) kissed, i almost puked. like seriously sick to my stomach.

i don't know what to do with this problem.

stars, sun, moon, kiss, hug, cry, pictures, flower, etc....

these words and more. i am starting to despise.

hmm......

if in silence i could say words. if with actions i could tell you how i felt.

but you can't see me.

you can if our wires are crossed right.

but i'd rather not go there.

i'd rather you be here.

i'd rather us be anywhere but where we sit now.

i just told you....

without you, i'm a mess of emotions and lack of knowledge in expressing them.......

and i am, right now.

and i am.

and i am, alone.

............................<------but i gots my dots.

-Lnk-