¡me no like!

hate:
1. To feel hostility or animosity toward.
2. To detest.
yep, now i hate this. i hate this distance, i hate this situation and everything i'm doing is merely distracting me from the fact that the love of my life is not anywhere near.

i can download all the music, play Rainbow Six: Las Vegas for hours on LIVE, i can play the guitar till my tears soak my strings, but i'm totally consumed with the thought of you being away.

paint you a picture: this is how i feel, my feet are cemented into the ground. i can't walk, i can't function or properly communicate. i hear you moving and making things happen. you will change and i will arrive the same, simple boy.

i don't know. i'm just pissed and just feeling so many other emotions. think i'm mad to just help me cope with my loss.

and this whole sha-bang brings to mind my utter detest for how society has made our lives to be. we are expected to go through school, graduate, go to college, get a part time job, graduate college and get married and get a job. where did this unspoken rule come into play. pushing us into this expected mold, what if i don't fit? what if i am not? where do i belong......i'm trudging through college, like slopping through a swamp. its almost painful. i don't feel i belong and i detest that this is the CORRECT way. i know I'M made for more, WE are made for more!

yea, i could go on that tangent forever. but i eventually need to sleep.

here's to a goodnight's rest

-link-